Why Men Love Sports and Women Love Shoes

Lets start this article off by filtering, if you are easily offended, have no sense of humor, take things personally, and are the type of person that emails corporate to complain about BS, or asks to see th manager when your steak is slightly undercooked. STOP READING NOW, and go ahead and start on that email about being offended and the degradation of women blah blah, and email it to [email protected]. Now for thsoe of you who like to have a little laugh, can poke fun at yourself, and enjoy laughing at the lengths men will go to to watch sports, read on! 

I am a 25 year HERSTARâ„¢ Hottie, that hates sports, loves shoes, and has a husband that will go to embarrassing lengths to get some game time, and I don't think its degrading for a woman to torture herself by wearing sky high heels to make her ass look amazing, even though she has to have her feet in an ice bath when she gets home. So women who are getting all huffy and puffy about the fact that they may not be hot enough to rock out in HERSTARâ„¢ products... Chill the beep Out. Stop taking yourself so beepin serious, get off your high horse, and except the fact that its ok to spend time and money to look amazing for the basic fact that you in fact DO want that much attention at a sporting event, and that for some of us a game is NOT about players running up and down a field/court/other sporting thingy, scoring points and fouls and junk,  and its about the whole day before that and picking out what you are going to wear, and simply pulling for the team by adorining your body.... ahhhh now that thats off my chest.... my very feminine, scantily clad, full of boobs chest....

Looking for the answer to all of your sports/shoes/shopping/relationship problems? We have the answer! 

Now Boyfriends/Spouses/Miscellaneous Male Partners, we know how much you LOOOOOVE your sports, and you are tired of hiding in the bathroom to check the scores and hearing the "nag nag nag"-substitute "nag" for miscellaneous insults and something about "You love your sports team more than me," and she's thinking OMG I can't take this anymore, it's just a game! You're thinking IT'S NOT JUST A GAME! IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT; it's an era, it's a team of men representing the country and prevailing through the harshest conditions, and reminding us what we stand for... Wouldn't it be nice if she just "got it"? Here is your chance!

Think back to last weekend when your little sweetie walked in the door toting 5 bags from the mall and she said "I just got a couple pairs of shoes, they were on sale and my other ones are on their last days".... And you say, "How much did you spend?" and she says "its not really how much I spent, because I SAVED you X amount of dollars." Well in this exhibit substitute shoes with jerseys and you might begin to understand a little bit of her insanity. How do you make her understand your amazing team spirit in the same way? Wait for it..... Shoes + Jersey = HERSTAR high heels. Next time you are planning to watch a game, and you either want your girl to do a little less talkity-talk and a little more cooking you some wings in the kitchen, have a pair of HERSTAR pumps loaded and ready for action right next to the remote. When she comes close and you feel that ever-dreaded death stare on the back of your neck:

1. Prepare your face with a believable genuine smile

2. Repeat after me "Hey sweety, I almost forgot, the other day I was spending the whole day thinking about how we could be closer, and really take our relationship to the next level. I want to share something with you I have never shared before......"

3. Grab HERSTAR pumps and present them (while still maintaining believable genuine smile) 

4. Finish by repeating after me "I know how much you love shoes, and you know how much I love <insert team name>, so I thought I would find something that could get us into the game together."

5. Now when she gets done with that whole sentimental spiel about "awww, honey, blah blah blah, you're the best, blah blah, I'd love to watch the <insert team name> with you.

6. You now have the freedom to say, "I'm so glad you agree, but before you sit down, can you grab me a beer?" 

And there we have history folks. You can thank me later when I educate you on how to turn football nagging into getting laid.

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